Good idea, says Eric Tyson, author of Personal Finance for Dummies.“If you’re moving in together, buying a major purchase together, or getting married, it’s time.” They’re going to find out anyway in any situation that requires a credit check—better they hear it from you than your mortgage broker, right?How to deal if your date freaks: Allay your date’s fears by keeping these comforting facts on hand: Herpes is highly treatable.
’ He made it all about him, and I just felt like a leper.” When to tell: Since herpes could affect the health of your partner, it’s crucial that you tell him before you’ve had any genital-to-genital or oral-genital contact (even with condoms, since there’s still a slight chance of transmission), says Brennan Ames-Phares, a health communication specialist at the National Herpes Hotline.
But one big issue remained: Dates rarely reacted well when she shared her news.
“I used to tell guys on the first date, which was way too soon,” she recalls.
“That didn’t work so well.” Instead, Ames-Phares recommends saying, “I really like you and would like to take this further, but before we do so I’d like to talk about our sexual histories.” Ask your date if he or she has ever been tested for AIDS or STDs, and if not, encourage him or her to do so.
(Case in point: 90 percent of people with herpes are unaware they have it.) This approach shows that you’re serious about your health — and your date’s — which will soften the blow when you say, “As for me, ten years ago I was diagnosed with herpes.” Your date may be a little scared when he hears this, but explaining how you felt when you found out you had it and how you’ve dealt with it since will help him better relate to what you’re going through and see how well you’re managing your health.
Your date may also wonder what it means for your financial future.